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I didn't write this and I do not know to whom to give credit. If I find out, I'll do that, though. I did go through and make sure that the sentences parse correctly. I must have been an English grammar teacher in a previous life. In the meantime, here it is....

"Graduate Nurses vs Experienced Nurses"

A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does.

An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up

A Graduate Nurse wears so many pins on her name badge you can't read it.

An experienced nurse doesn't wear a name badge for liability reasons.

A Graduate Nurse charts too much.

An experienced nurse doesn't chart enough.

A Graduate Nurse loves to run to codes.

An experienced nurse lets graduate nurses run to codes.

A Graduate Nurse wants everyone to know she's a nurse.

An experienced nurse doesn't want anyone to know she's a nurse.

A Graduate Nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.

An experienced nurse writes on the back of her hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.

A Graduate Nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.

An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain him.

A Graduate Nurse can hear a beeping I-med at 50 yards.

An experienced nurse can't hear any alarms at any distance.

A Graduate Nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.

An experienced nurse doesn't want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.

A Graduate Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.

An experienced nurse lets (read that as "forces") the CNA give the patient a bath.

A Graduate Nurse thinks people respect Nurses.

An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.

A Graduate Nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping she'll get to change it.

An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.

A Graduate Nurse looks for a chance "to work with the family"

An experienced nurse avoids the family.

A Graduate Nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.

An experienced nurse expects them never to be delivered at all.

A Graduate Nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.

An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.

A Graduate Nurse always answers her phone.

An experienced nurse checks the caller ID before answering the phone.

A Graduate Nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.

An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

A Graduate Nurse carries reference books in her bag.

An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch, and some "cough syrup" in her bag.

A Graduate Nurse respects doctors and calls them by title.

An experienced nurse tells the doctors what to do and calls them “skippy”

A Graduate Nurse doesn't find this funny.

An experienced nurse does.

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